iCan't Take It Anymore
by WhoaThatsSoFlippinAwesome
Summary: What happens when Carly and Sam end their friendship? Whose side will Freddie choose? Will Carly go to far and cause Sam to make one of the biggest and harmful decisions in her life? Rated T for later on chapters.
1. iConfess

I walked as fast as I possibly could do the door held open by my once best friend. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I forced to not show them. Since she just stood there, glaring at me.

She slammed the door right as I slipped out. I finally let a tear fall from my face, not being able to stop the others that were coming on. I took a few more steps away from her door, not wanting her to hear me cry.

I fell back against the wall, kneeling down and wrapping my hands around my knees. The tears fell and fell. My breath shortened moments later as I gasped for air between every soft cry I let escape my mouth.

I heard the voices from the apartment across the hall. The yelling of a boy and his mother. I knew who it was after hearing the, "I'm not taking a flea bath mother!" So I, trying to be tough, attempted to stop my tears.

I failed miserably as I remembered what Freddie would always say. How he would always tell her he loved her, loved Carly. How he said he'd wait for her for however long that would take. I began to choke on my sobs once again as I realized that Carly and him would never talk to me ever again.

The door of his apartment flew open as a very angry tech producer stomped out, face red with anger. He walked heavily over to the door across the hall, stopping dead in his tracks as he saw me.

"Sam?" He questioned as he turned to face me.

I covered my head with my knees, still not being able to stop the tears from falling.

"Sam?" He questioned once more, "Sam? What's wrong?" He took steady slow steps towards me.

"G-G-Go away!" I sobbed.

He took a few more steps towards me, ignoring my warnings. "Sam what's wrong?" I heard how concerned he was as he stood before me.

"W-Why don't you a-ask," I stopped, not wanting to think about her, "C-Carly?!" I said as my voice cracked. I turned away from him, going back to my crying.

"Fine, maybe I will." He said as his tone of voice suddenly changed.

I didn't mean to upset him, but I guess I did. "Of course you w-would..." I mumbled trying not to let out a cry of sadness.

"What's that suppose to mean?!" He asked angrily.

I couldn't take it anymore, "I mean," I paused as I slowly lifted my head away from my knees, "I-I mean your obsessed with her! You-You don't care about anyone but her! Your too oblivious to realize that some people actually do feel the way that you wish Carly would feel about you! Now she doesn't even want me anymore! She doesn't need me anymore! I need her! I need someone! No one cares about me!" I yelled as the tears came down like a waterfall.

Freddie stood there, processing and trying to think of what to say.

I turned away from him and ran as fast as I could down the hall to the elevator.

"Sam! Wait!" He called to me. I head his heavy footsteps behind mine.

I ignored him as I pressed the button to the elevator.

"SAM!" He yelled as I suddenly felt his hand wrapped around my shoulder. "Stop!"

"J-Just leave me alone!" I yelled.

"What do you mean?!"

"By what!"

"By what you said!" I never thought I would hear Freddie say such a stupid question.

I let my tears fall again as I spoke to him, "Carly and I ended our friendship! Now you are going to choose her side! A-And-" I paused ready to stop and leave it at that.

Freddie stared at me concerningly.

"You don't even realize how much I really care about you!" I yelled as I pushed my way into the elevator. The door closed before Freddie said another word.


	2. iWant the Pain to Go Away

**Yay! Winter break! I should be able to write a lot more now! This chapter is basically telling about Sam's feelings and the only way she believes she can make herself feel better.**

I skipped the next day of school, thinking about what all had happened. All I have done all day is lay on my bed thinking. It's taken me long enough to realize that I have no one to blame but myself for this situation. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I did.

It wasn't a one time thing or anything like that, it was continuous problems that I had caused for my two best-I guess now they're exbest-friends. It was little things that added up to be a big problem, kind of like a snowball.

They were things like showing up two minutes before iCarly, not showing up for rehersal, eating all of her food, barging in and picking the locks to her house, just small things.

I seriously doubt that I will ever have the same relationship that I once had with Freddie. I can't imagine that he feels the same way I feel about him with me. He loves Carly, he tells everyone that. I know I've never been a good friend to him, who am I kidding? I was the most sucky friend anyone could ever ask for. I never treated him right, I was rude to him, I picked on him, and called him names. It's not like I never felt bad about it, I did all the time. Every time I'd give him a wedgie, or call him 'Freddork' or 'Freddweird' I felt the worst feeling I've ever felt, excluding this one.

This feelings horrible. It's like mix of anger, sadness, guilt, and pain all mixed together. I just want it all to stop. I want this feeling to go away. I'd do anything for it just to leave, anything.

I guess I would talk to someone about this, but I can't. Literally, I can't. I would talk to Carly, but I obviously can't do that anymore. My mom-well-she's never around. She's not working ever, she's usually out at some bar with some new guy, trying to get some extra cash. When she is home, she's having a massive hangover. My sister is ashamed of me. Ashamed at how I talk to people, how I act, how I treat people, just about everything about me. I would talk to Freddie but I'm afraid that he won't talk to me or have anything to do with me after I told him how I felt.

Pulling myself away from my thoughts, I get up and make my way to the bathroom. I turned on the bathtub, grabbing the shampoo, conditioner, and soap from the small cabinet when a shiny object catches my eye.

I carefully examine it. A razor, a pink and white Secret razor. I've heard about all of thos emos and stuff and how they cut themselves when they're depressed. I never thought that I would even think about it, but for some reason I feel the need to, I want to, I feel like cutting myself will somehow relieve my pain.

That's when I grab the razor and set it a little above my wrist. I press down, feeling the blade sink into my skin and squint my eyes. Slowly, I pull the razor up my arm, feeling almost relief as it reaches my elbow. I grab a towel from my bathtub, applying pressure to the wound I had just made.

It did make it feel better, make me feel better, even if it is just the smallest bit, it still counts. Right?


	3. iDidn't Want Him To Find Out

It's been three days since it's happened. Since I've ended my friendship with Carly, since I've told him how I felt.

He, Freddie, has been calling a lot lately. I haven't answered it though. I'm to much of a nub to answer the phone. I'm the girl that beats the crap at anyone who looks at me wrong, well maybe not anymore. I think I might have changed a lot now. I know, it's only been three days, but still.

I have a routine now. I wake up every morning and go to the restroom with my razor. I do what I thought I'd never do-cut myself- then wash it off by taking a shower. I then put on a long sleeve shirt and some sweatpants, then walk to the park for the next couple of hours.

It doesn't seem like I've been doing a lot with my life right now, because I haven't. I haven't been to school either. Today is Thursday and that means that iCarly is tomorrow. I don't think anyone is expecting me to show up to school tomorrow, so they can pretty much assume that I won't be at iCarly either.

It's 6:30 p.m. I'm taking a shower right now, but I have no idea why I'm doing so, I already had one this morning... I'm super tired so I think that I might just sit down for a bit. Okay, my eye lids are closing, I'm drifting off, and the next thing I know, I'm fast asleep on the floor of the shower.

I was awakened by a ring.

I grabbed the phone from the table lining the sink. I was hesitant of answering but after a short pause did so anyway, not bothering to look at who it was I would be speaking to.

"Hello?" I said sleepily.

"Sam?" The voice asked.

"Uh-huh?" I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my drenched body.

"Where are you?!" The voice said, quite nervously.

I was confused at that moment. Where was I suppose to be at this time? "At my house." I said.

"Are you going to show up to school today?" The voice asked me, "Are you sick or something?"

I realized that I had slept through the night, "I-I donno..." I said trailing off.

"Do you need me to grab you something?" He asked me sounding sincere.

"Well now that I think about it," I said, "I do kinda have a headache. Do you think you could grab me some aspirin?" God what am I doing? This is the boy I have been avoiding for the past three days!

"Sure." He paused as though he was deciding if he should continue, "I really need to talk to you okay?"

My headache became worse as I realized what he was talking about.

"Sam?" He asked wondering if I was still on the other line.

"Yeah uhm-Okay Freddie."

"Great." Hm. He actually seemed happy, that's weird, "I'll be there in five minutes."

I dried my body and quickly went through my drawers of clothes. I grabbed what I could find- some pajama pants and a tank top, completely forgetting about the cut I had made on my arm.

I went into the restroom and combed out my hair, throwing on some mascara and cover up before I heard a knock at the door. I ran down the stairs to the front door.

I grabbed the door knob and opened it only to see Freddie. "Hey Sam." He greeted, not making eye contact with me.

"Hey." I replied, grabbing my arm from me being so nervous, only to wince in pain when I felt the large cut run up it. "Shoott!" I mumbled under my breath.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, walking into my house.

"Yeah, yeah I 'm fine." I said still holding onto my arm.

There was silence between us.

"Oh-I uh-got you some aspirin." he said as he held up a brown baggy.

"Thanks." I said.

"I'll grab you some water and meet you upstairs." He said as he walked past me to my kitchen.

I didn't reply. I did as I was told and walked up into my room sitting on my bed. I quickly remembered the cut on my arm and ran for one of my jackets on the back of my door. I reached for it and grabbed a white one with yellow stipes on it. I put it on as the door opened.

"Here ya go." He said as he handed me the water and two aspirins.

I reached out my non-cut arm and grabbed the two items. He looked at me curiously.

"So," I spoke trying to strike up conversation, "What did you need to talk to me about?"

He sat down on my bed. I walked over and sat next to him.

"About you and Carls, and you an me."

My stomach dropped as he spoke about Carly.

"W-What about Carls and me?" I asked dumb-founded.

"She misses you Sam. She feels really bad."

"Then why isn't she here telling me this?!" I asked, getting angry.

"She said she was afraid." He defended her.

"Afraid of what Freddie?! What the hell could she possibly be afraid of?!"

"She said she was afraid of you getting mad! Just like you are right now!" He spoke.

"I-I'm not mad!" I yelled, "N-Not at her..." I said as I grabbed my arm with the long cut.

"Then who are you mad at Sam?" He asked, noticing my change of emotions.

"Me." I stated simply, "I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at how I ruined everything."

"You didn't ruin everything Sam."

"I ruined everything that matters to me." I said as I got up from the bed and began to pace.

"Sam..." He spoke sincerely.

"I did, you can't deny it. I ruined Carly and I's friendship, I ruined you and me being- friends or whatever we were." I said as I began to walk out of the room. _Run away Sam, just like you do with everything else. _

"Sam, wait a minute." He said as he got up and followed me. He grabbed my arm-the one with the cut- and tightened his grip on me.

"Ow!" I screeched as he grabbed it.

"What?! What is it?!" He said as he looked at me, letting go of my arm.

"N-Nothing." I said as I rubbed my arm.

Freddie stared at my arm. I looked down at it as I saw the blood leak through my jacket.


	4. iLet My Anger Get the Best Of Me

**Okay, here's the nxt chapter. I'm getting really into this story and I've been stayin up all night writing and writing! Nxt chapter should be up by tomorrow or even sometime tonight!**

_Oh no, no, no, no, no! _ The stain became larger, as I looked up at Freddie, fear overwhelming me.

"What the hell is this Sam?!" He screamed pointing to my bloody arm.

"I-I-I," I stuttered, not knowing what to say. I couldn't lie and get myself out of this one, I was stuck, stuck with no way out.

"Why the hell are you doing this Sam?!" he screamed at me once again.

I felt tears form in my eyes, but held them back the best I possibly could, "It-It seemed like..." I said, searching for words.

"I don't want any lies either Puckett!" He yelled, "I want the truth!" He was mad, really mad. He only called me Puckett when I did something horrible.

"It felt like it was the only thing I could do!" I yelled back to him.

"What do you mean the only thing you could do?! Why was it the only thing you could do?!" He replied, speaking threw his teeth.

"I didn't know how I could deal with it okay?!" I spoke, "Carly wants nothing to do with me! You know that she was the only one I ever had?! The only one I could ever talk to?! She was the only one who was the slightest concerned about my home life! All of the problems that I have to face!"

"It doesn't mean you have to cut yourself Sam!" He spoke, almost hurt by what I had been doing to myself, "If you would let anyone else in Sam, if you would have let me in, you wouldn't be having to deal with this all alone!"

I looked away from him, "Do you know how long it took me to let Carly in?" I spoke, my voice suddenly soft.

He shook his head. His eyes looked like they were almost watering.

"Three months," I spoke to him, "Three months of her trying all that she possibly could to get me to tell her why I was like this! And now she told me she wants nothing to do with me! After I trusted her! After I let her in Freddie!"

He had a hurt and worried expression on his face, "I've been trying for much longer than that Sam!"

"You never tried Freddie! You always said that I was a monster! A demon! You never truly tried to get me to tell you what the hell was really ever wrong with me!"

He was taken back by my words, "What the hell is wrong with you Sam?!" He asked me, "Does your mom get drunk all the time? Did your dad leave you or something? Are you jealous that your sister has a way better life than you?!" His voice showed anger, yet his expression showed concern.

"Bingo." I said, turning my back away from him, gripping my arm, the blood now reaching from my wrist to my elbow.

"I'm sorry Sam." He said as he stood there in my room, letting his head fall.

"It doesn't even matter." I told him, spinning around, "It's not like you care." I don't understand why I was saying this. Like always, I was letting my emotions and anger get the best of me.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time." He said as he looked back up, walking by me and out of my room.

I couldn't look at him, I couldn't bear him leaving me, he actually came back for me, and now-now I pushed him away just like always. I heard his footsteps as he walked heavily down my stairs.

"Freddie..." I spoke so softly it was as if I whispered, "please don't leave..."

**I'm feeling sad for Sam right now. I really hope Freddie comes back for Sam (Wait, I already know if he does or not) Anyways, Review! **


	5. iNeed My Friendship Mended

**Okay, time for a long chapter. I wanted to get it up because I'm starting school up again (Ugh! I hate school so much!) So here it is, I'll hopefully get it updated before Monday, but then the chapters might take a bit longer to get up (school, remember?). So enjoy :)**

He didn't hear me though. He didn't hear the words I should have told him so long ago. I heard his footsteps down the stairs, then the door slam shut. I held in my tears this time, refusing to show how much pain he really is causing me.

I waited a few more minutes, my head back against the door. I swung the door back open, dragging myself down the stairs and into the kitchen. I didn't think my mom was home, therefore I walked over to the fridge, searching for something to get rid of all this pain.

I found the first thing that caught my eye. I'm seventeen, and now hold a bottle of whiskey in my hands. Without thinking about it, I open it up and chug as much that will go down my throat before choking from the bitter, sour taste of it. Taking another breath, I close my eyes and take another gulp, over and over again.

It wasn't enough though, once I was done with it, I searched for more. I then spotted my mom out of the corner of my eye.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

At that moment, I thought I was going to get the crap beat out of me, "Trying to make painstop" I slurred my words as I spoke.

She looked at me once more before walking in front of the fridge. I stared at her as she turned around, holding two beer bottles. One reached out farther than the other. Was she handing one to me?

I took it from her as I took a large gulp, she did the same with hers as we drank the rest of the beer in the fridge. Once fully satisfied I opened my eyes and took a step. I stumbled as I let the bottle drop from my hands. I heard the shattering of the glass as I grabbed my head from the throbbing it caused. I took tiny steps across the kitchen floor, scooting closer and closer until I reached the wall. Now taking full strides, I walked to the front door. Unlatching the lock, I walked outside into the snow with my tank top an pj pants on.

It was pretty late, twelve or one in the morning and bitter cold out. The sidewalks were covered with ice, topped off with snow. My face stung as I made my way down the streets. I had no idea where I was going, but it had to be somewhere better than where I am now.

My phone vibrated.

I grabbed it from my pocket, whiping my eyes to hope that that would make my vision less blurry. After I realized it didn't, I squinted and focused with all my might at the message. Carly.

I hesitated once more to open it, but it was a text message, so if I didn't want to text her back, or if I didn't want to answer her, I didn't have to. Opening it, I gazed upon the words on the screen.

**Sam, please call me. I really need to talk to you. I'm sorry, Carly.**

Okay, so when Freddie and I are completely and utterly done with, Carly comes running back. I walked on, turning a street corner into an alley. Walking down it, I sat against the brick wall as I squeezed my eyes shut, pondering on whether to call her or not.

I dozed off for a bit on the corner of the alley, awakening from a loud ring. I slowly opened my eyes. Looking at the caller ID, I read Carly's phone number. I threw my phone into my pocket, unaware of why I didn't answer. I'd probably slur my words so much that she'd come running over to my house. The alcohol I was having made my head throb, and I felt dizzy. So, once more I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

Carly's POV

"Hey, this is Sam Puckett, ya know what to do."

Great, voicemail. "Sam, it's Carly. I texted you an hour or two ago.... I know your not asleep yet, you don't go to sleep until like four every morning.... Ugh! You know what? I'm coming over to your house. I'll see you in five minutes."

And with that, I hung up the phone. I slipped on my jacket, and walked down my stairs to Spencer's door.

"SPENCER! WAKE UP!" I yelled, banging on the door repeatidly.

The door swung open to reveal a very sleepy Spencer. "What is it Carly?" He said, wiping his eyes and yawning.

"I need you to drive me to Sam's house." I said, looking up at him hopefully.

"Ya two make up or somethin'?" Spencer asked, walking to the front door and sliding on his own jacket.

"No, and that's why I need you to drive me over there." I said, looking away from him and grabbing my arm nervously.

"But it's like two in the morning." He stated.

"Yeah, but Sam usually stays up until like four. And she hasn't been at school since our fight. I think something might've happened."

"Oh, okay." Spencer said, concerned about Sam. He opened the door as we walked out into the cold streets of Seattle.

Sam's POV

It was getting cold. It was already cold, but now it was unbearable. Moving my knees to my chest, I shivered fiercely. I should have put on a jacket, no, I should have just answered when she called, why the heck do I have to be so stubborn?

I put my shaking hands to my arms and rubbed them, hoping that I would become the slightest bit less cold. It didn't work though, it only made my headache worse.

I shivered fiercely again, and decided that I might as well go back to the house, atleast for my jacket. I put my hands in front of me and with all my might, pushed myself up. I stumbled, trying to keep my balance as I fell back down on my back. Sinking into the snow, I actually wanted help.

I tried to yell for it, but no words came from my mouth. I mentally kicked myself, for getting drunk, and for coming outside when it's so cold out. But I couldn't get up now, I mean, I probably could if I really wanted to, but I don't. Letting a tear fall from my eyes, I couldn't help but let the others fall too. So there I sat in an alley, letting my body be convered with snow, sobbing and hoping that someone could hear me.

Carly's POV

I opened the passenger door of Spencer's SUV, running up Sam's sidewalk. I opened the door, not bothering to knock. I made my way into Sam's room. Spencer followed close behind as we both opened the door to her room.

My stomach dropped when I saw the blood scattered across her bedsheets and jacket. I went over and picked up the jacket, looking at it, I let a tear fall from my face. It was near her wrist, but she wouldn't have done anything durastic...would she?

I turned back to face Spencer. Seeing the look on his face, I quickly ran past him. I saw Mrs. Puckett on the couch staring at me.

"Mrs. Puckett!" I yelled, running up to her.

"Uh...are-one of friends Sam's?" She asked, slurring her words as she held a bottle of whiskey in her right hand.

"Yes, I am. Do you know where she is?!" I asked impatiently.

"She left hours and or two ago." She spoke, standing up from the couch, "Said somethin' 'bout taking walk."

"Thank you." I spoke turning away from her and out the door. Once on the sidewalk I looked around, thinking of where she would have possible gone. That's when I heard soft cries.

I didn't think it was Sam though, I haven't seen her cry since she had to get that job at Chilly My Bowl. But I followed the sound anyway.

"Carly!" Spencer yelled, running up behind me.

"What?" I asked, my full attention still focused on the sounds of soft cries.

"I got you a flashlight." He said, smiling. I grabbed it from his hand, turning it on as I looked down each corner, "I'll meet you in the car." He ran away from me, not bothering to wait for me to answer.

I shined the light down each alley and street I passed, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw blonde, curly hair. I turned to face her as she lay flat on the ground.

"SAM!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, "SAM! OH MY GOD!" I sprinted to her, falling to me knees as I stared at her on the ground.

She didn't turn to face me.

I stared at her arm, seeing the cuts up and down it, and the new one on her wrist. "Sam?" I asked her quietly.

She looked over at me this time. I stared at her bloodshot eyes before she sobbed harshly. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

"Whyare you-youhere?!" She spoke, slurring her words.

"Because I was worried Sam." I said, stroking her hair and rubbing her back, "Why are you doing this?"

"I-Iwant thepain t-to goaway!" She yelled.

"Sam, it's okay." I said, feeling horrible for ever telling her what I did.

"You-y-youpromise....youwon't leave?" She said, her voice suddenly soft and worried.

"Yeah, I promise." I said suddenly smelling the strong scent of alcohol on her, "Sam, have you been drinking?"

"M-My mom saidit helps paingo-goaway." She said.

I ignored how angry I was at her for doing such a thing, but then remembered what we all have put her through. I felt her shiver fiercely at my arms. She was wearing a....a tank top?! Oh my god! It's like nine degrees out!

"Sam! You have to be freezing!" I blurted out.

"It's-It's not thatbad..." She lied.

"Come on, we have to get you home."

"Idon'twannagohome!" She spoke loudly.

"You mean, you don't want to come over to my house?" I said, spotting the small smile creep across her lips.

"C-Can I really go overtoyour house?" She said, shivering once again.

"Yeah. We have to hurry though, your freezing."

I didn't notice Spencer walk up behind me, but he kneeled down to look at the two of us. He smelt the scent of alcohol on Sam and the cuts up and down her arms as he let a tear escape his eyes. Sam spotted Spencer and sobbed once again.

"Sam, come on. It's gonna be alright." I told her.

She sniffled as I wrapped my arms around her much tighter. "O-O-Okay." She stuttered.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Sam as he picked her up bridal style, "Come on kiddo." He said, making her smile a bit. I held her hand tightly as we walked over to Spencer's SUV. Spencer lay Sam down in the back as I sat next to her, rubbing her back soothingly.

Sam sat up with some effort and looked over at me, "Thank you." She spoke, her tone soft and sincere. I smiled at I wrapped my arm around her back. She put her head on my shoulder as she took a deep breath.

"Can we be friends again? Please?" I nearly begged as she lay against my shoulder.

"The bestest." She said softly before falling asleep on my shoulder. I smiled happily as we drove to the apartment.

**Sorry if the endings sound a bit cheesy, but I wanted it to be a good place to pause for a bit. I might put a twist on it to throw you all off a bit (And so the story will be longer and for it to be more interesting lol) So please review!**


	6. iWonder What Happened

The drive from Sam's to my house to around fifteen minutes, and by the time we arrived, Sam had calmed down a bit. No longer slurring her words and panicking every moments, Spencer lifted her from the back seat, taking her off my shoulder and making their way into the apartment.

We walked down the hallway of the apartment as I unlocked the front door. Sam seemed in a hurry, as much as she possible could be in Spencer's arm, as we made our way into the apartment. Spencer set Sam down carefully on the couch as he gave her a worried look, "Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked her, still not believing what she had told him several times before.

"Yeah...just gotta get some rest..." She spoke as she smiled up him, thankful that Spencer and I had found her, "Thanks." She said politely as she lay her head against a pillow sitting in the corner of the couch.

I walked over to her slowly, in deep regret of ever ending my friendship with her. I hope that everything could just go back to normal, and also hoped that Sam would be willing to forgive me, "Hey.." I said softly as I looked down at her.

She took a deep breath as she looked up at me, "Hey Carls." She spoke, her voice tender and soft. The right side of her mouth slid up as I sat down on the couch next to her.

"Look, I know we haven't talked in a week or so, and I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like I did- and I didn't mean to get so angry at you. I guess I just sorta snapped or something..." I trailed off, looking upon her to see if she showed any signs of forgiveness.

Sam sat in silence as she looked off into the distance, in deep thought.

"Sam? Will you please forgive me for what I did to you?" I nearly begged as I looked at her, "I messed up and really need you." I spoke.

"You really did hurt me, you know?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah, I know I did, more than I ever will. I just want things to go back to normal, I want you and me to be best friends. I want you to trust me."

She took a deep breath as she looked up at me, making eye contact for a few moments before letting her head fall back lazily to the couch, "It's okay." She spoke softly.

I was taken a bit back by her easiness of accepting my apology, "Really? Know deals? No giving you a free pass to beat up on Freddie without me-" I stopped as I saw the look of sadness reappear in her eyes, "What's the matter Sam?" I asked, hoping it wasn't something I said.

Going over what I had just told her at least twenty times, I realized that it had something to do with Freddie. Seeing that she was a bit uneasy about standing outside of his apartment, I understood that something was up, but had no idea what exactly. I hadn't talked to Freddie since Sam and I took a break from being friends. "Sam?" I repeated trying to get her to answer me.

"It's nothing." She replied stubbornly.

I sighed, not understanding why she wouldn't just tell me what was up, "Sam, you know if you ever need to tell me something, or if you ever wanted to talk about ANYTHING," I spoke, emphisizing the words 'anything' to try to get her to fully grasp what I was telling her, "I'm here for you, and I'd be happy to help.. or just...listen." I concluded.

She looked back up at me, her eyes showing a bit of happiness from what I had just told her, yet still hold some depression on whatever was going on between her and Freddie, "I wish that I wouldn't have spoke my mind, I wish I wouldn't have done what I did." She spoke, obviously not to thrilled at what she was about to tell me.

"Huh?" I asked, obviously confused.

"You know I liked Freddie right?" She asked, not making eye contact with me as her cheeks turned a brightish red color.

"No, actually I didn't know that," I sighed, obviously not happy with not noticing this until her actually telling me.

"Well, I have for a while now." She spoke, quite embarressed with the fact that she had a crush on the person she always made fun of, "And after you and me got into that fight-I guess it just kind of slipped out..."

"Oh..." I spoke softly, "So have you not talked to him?"

"Well actually, I did." She paused, looking up at me. I became happy until I realized she was still frowning, "A-And he saw what I did to myself...." She spoke, tightening her eyes as she took a large and shaky breath, "And he said he n-never wanted to see me a-again..." She spoke, trying the best she could to hold in the tears that were begging to escape from her now clenched together eyes.

"Sam..." I spoke, blaming myself for all of what has happened lately to her, I never knew that this fight could go on so long, let alone effect Sam's life so much. I never knew I was that important to her, and I feel so horrible for not realizing this until now, "Oh god I'm so sorry." I scooted in closer to her as I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight, pulling her up from her postition on the couch, "This is all my fault...I'm so sorry." I whispered, starting to feel tears well up in my eyes now too.

Why did I have to snap? I mean, it's not like she didn't do anything wrong, all she was doing was being-well-being herself. And for some reason, I couldn't handle that. I wish I could have reacted like I did every other day she was like this, by telling her I have beef jerky or something, then she'd just come running to me like a lost puppy, and then we'd be fine.

"H-How is this your fault?" She asked, letting a tear fall from her eye.

"If I wouldn't have told you I didn't want to be your friend anymore, this wouldn't have happened!" I said to her pitifully.

"If I wouldn't have been such a lazy slob, you never would've done that Carls." She said quietly, "This isn't your fault, don't blame yourself." She confirmed, finally looking up at me, "I put this upon myself, and am paying for the consequences. It's okay though, 'cause I got back my friend." She replied, trying to lift my spirits. She was being very serious, and was acting a bit more mature than I've ever seen.

"I'm happy I got mine back too." I smiled, squeezing her in my arms.

Sam smiled, content with her wordings on her friends reaction to her situation.

"So, how about we watch some TV and just hang out?" I asked, trying to change the subject and make Sam a cit happier, especially after all she's been threw.

"Yeah, there's a new episode of Cow Girl on." She spoke, "Can we watch it?"

"Course," I said happily, "Since when do you ask what we watch?" I asked, enlightening the mood as she let off a small giggle.

"Just turn on the TV." She spoke.

"Alright, alright," I chuckled as I switched on the TV and flupped it to channel forty-three, "That's the Sam I love." I spoke as I threw my arm over her shoulder.

**The next couple of chapters are going to have Freddie and all he is going threw, and then is going to reveal some of Sam's past. Sam misses Carly and is really easy about the apology. Also I know Sam's pretty OC in this story, but that'll become more explained as the story goes along. She's a bit better here.**


	7. Laptop Problem!

Sorry for not informing everyone about this situation earlier, but I would just like everyone to know that my laptop keyboard is broken. I sent it in to Geeksquad yesterday, because they were closed Sunday, and I would just like everyone to know that I am not updating my stories because all of my documents containing my stories is on it.

I should get it back by Friday at latest, and I promise that I'll give you a story by then!


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